Pros and cons and laughing through toddler-hood

Play time

Pros:

Congratulations you now have an excellent excuse to run around like a lunatic, bouncing around the play area with your child and throwing yourself down that slide like a small child again.

It’s invigorating letting your inner child out, followed by a great feeling seeing that beaming smile on your child’s face that you know is there because they are loving the “silly billy” that has temporarily replaced their parent.

Cons:

Unless you are a super fit gym goer, whilst you are running around you’re very quickly reminded that you’re not “that” young any more and if you do overexert your self you will likely feel it for a couple of days, not such a great feeling, and mum, DO NOT go on that trampoline! (I don’t think I need to go into any more details on that one)

Creative time:

Pros:

Little ones love being creative and lets face it, painting is fun, even if more paint does end up on your toddler than on the paper, they will love the messy freedom plus it’s great for their development. There are lots of engaging activities you can do to encourage creativity and who knows you may even end up with your own mini Picasso one day.

Cons:

Your darling child draws some illegible scribbles, sprinkles some glitter and “voila” a master piece to add to your wall BUT your feeling creative too so you decide to have a go at that “easy home made” whatever it is you pinned from Pintrest and “voila” a hot mess that looks more like something the cat threw up and you have your very own “Nailed it”.

Also, soooo much mess! My OCD has just kicked in a little bit here, as a parent you get used to picking up after your little hurricane of a child but lets face it picking up a million sequins is no ones idea of fun. Although they look fun and your child loves it, you very quickly learn which items of arts and crafts should “accidentally” find there way to the bin never to return.

Getting “out and about”

Pros:

A toddler that has ran around the park, exerted them selves at soft play or walked into town and back is going to be tired toddler and if you can do everything in your power to avoid that “falling asleep in my dinner” nap then generally you will have a toddler that is more than happy to go to bed ( yay!)

Cons:

Actually getting out the house! The days of being on time and being able to leave the house within fifteen minutes are loooooong gone. The list of items we have to remember even if we’re just “popping” to the shop is ridiculous, thankfully it does get smaller the older they get but then you have the inevitable “right as your about to leave the house” poo and the “taking my shoes and coat off whilst you look away for 2 seconds” game. Times that by two and its a sure recipe for skyrocketing blood pressure and a large purchase of hair dye to cover those new found grey hairs.

Conclusion

I am very quickly learning that laughing at what might seem to be a horrible situation at the time is key to surviving “toddler-hood”

Even when you have made your way through the human traffic dilly dallying around your local supermarket with two grumpy toddlers in tow, gathered your entire weeks worth of shopping, made it to the finish line of packing it all up at the end of the conveyor to then be told “sorry love that cards not working” huh? It must be a mistake, it worked fine yesterday,so you try again, computer says no(!) With no other payment method available at that time your forced to admit defeat and whilst arranging (very red faced) to come and collect it later with a card that doesn’t hate you, your loving toddler decides you haven’t had enough embarrassment today and throws a 12 box of eggs on the floor and now the entire shop is looking at you (or so it feels)

Hellooo mental breakdown!

Or you could laugh it off and realise your not the only one that has been through embarrassing moments like these, it won’t be the last and lets face it things could be a lot worse!

Easier said than done I know but it certainly helps.

Mummy why are you crying?

Mummy why are you crying,

Don’t you love me today?

Mummy why are you crying,

Have I hurt you in a way?

Mummy why are you crying,

I can touch my toes, look,

Mummy why are you crying,

Please read me this book,

Mummy why are you crying,

What have I done?

Mummy why are you crying,

I need you, your my one.

To my innocent baby,

I love you every day,

To my innocent baby,

You could never hurt me, I’m ok?

To my innocent baby,

I don’t mean to over look,

To my innocent baby,

This feeling ,

Has a grappling hook,

My brain is fuzzy and I’m not really there

You haven’t done anything, so for you I will share,

I want to be perfect, for you everyday,

But mummy is hurting, I don’t know what to say.

I love you, I do, just bear with me please,

We are in it together, through all stormy seas,

Its not your fault, nor is it mine,

I realise that now, and that is just fine,

For sometimes this happens, I’m not on my own,

I can get through this, if only I’d known,

I don’t need to be perfect, nobody is,

So lets beat this demon, who’s claimed me his,

One day at a time, I will move closer

I will show you, I can break this enclosure.

Mummy you are amazing,

And I never did doubt,

Mummy you are my hero,

And I know you’ll break out,

Mummy everyone cries,

Don’t worry its ok,

This postnatal dragon,

Together we’ll slay.

Raising two under two (and what not to say to said person)

 

“ I just don’t know how you do it?” 

“make sure you sleep when the kids sleep”

“you need some you time”

Just a few of the many annoying things people say to most parents but when you have two under two (and only a ten month age gap in our case) they can be extremely irritating.

“I don’t know how you do it” Actually, neither do I, I recently decided I was going to research some daily routines for two under two’s, reach out for some advice from other mums, grasping for the perfect answer to make my days smooth and manageable, of course I didn’t find it but seeing expecting mums asking for advice made me realise I had actually blocked out most of the “coping” I had done when Ro first appeared and Rhea was only 10 months old.
How did I change all the stinking nappies with a 10 month old who thought it looked like a nice snack (of course she didn’t actually eat it but 10 points for effort)
How did I choose which child to see to first when they are both screaming the place down because they want food/milk/attention/anything and everything they aren’t supposed to have.
How did I try and fit them both into a routine when they both wanted completely different things at completely different (or even worse exactly the same) times.

You might think this question sounds supportive, your trying to cheer them on, yaay! But the truth is the person you are asking probably doesn’t know either. They don’t need reminding of how tough it all is and it will probably trigger an unwanted mini meltdown of sobs and self doubt that can only be cured by copious amounts of chocolate and coffee.

There is no “perfect routine” no “magical cures” for waking at night, getting them to eat the delicious meal you just slaved over, getting both kids to nap at the same time and the many other conundrums of having two under two. At the time it feels like a nightmare that will never end, but it does,(or at least it morphs into something else) as soon as you realise this is “just a phase” and stop having such high expectations of yourself to be the “perfect mum” things will get easier. So what if the dishes have to wait, so what if the kids weren’t asleep at exactly the time the “routine” says, so what if they missed one bath because they skipped their nap and wanted bed “NOW!” In the grand scheme of things, what is happening now is just a blip that will quickly pass and before you know it you will have grandchildren.
(or so I’m told)

“make sure you sleep when the kids sleep”

In my opinion, this is only said by some one who has not had kids, in an ideal world your two darling toddlers go down for a nap at the same time, your housework and the million other things on your to do list are done and you put your feet up and have a lovely little nap… this has never happened, ever. Not because we don’t want it to, we want nothing more, but because it just never happens.
My youngest has his morning nap (usually without fail) and I then have a very active toddler who is shouting for mummy’s full attention because she wants to draw, build, eat more, chase the dog, play hide and seek and watch peppa (bloody) pig, all at the same time then there’s washing bottles, preparing their next meal, cleaning up the mess from the last meal, maybe even put on a load of washing that will no doubt end up sitting in the tumble dryer for a day or so because it has been forgotten (mentally put aside).
This is also my opportunity to get washed/dressed (if I feel like it) usually in the same clothes as yesterday, because they are already laid out for me perfectly (in a pile on the floor). Some days I might even push the boat out and “put my eyebrows on”
The list is endless and yes I could say “sod it” “it can wait” but that’s just it, it will be waiting for me later and to be honest after the exhausting bed time routine (a whole other interesting story) all I want to do is unwind with the husband and catch up with game of thrones.
So unless you want to hear the endless list of tasks that will probably end in an unwanted mini melt down of sobs and self doubt that can only be cured by copious amounts of ( you guessed it) chocolate and coffee then please don’t tell us to sleep when the kids sleep.

“you need some ‘you’ time”

Yes thank you, I am well aware that I look like a zombie, my hair has been tied in a bun for a week and I am probably still in my pyjamas. Ok so this might not of been exactly what you meant by that statement but caring about yourself quickly becomes a thing of the past when you have young children and we all crave that infamous “you time” . Ok ok so there are super mums out there that look pristine on the school run, go to the gym and run regularly, create beautiful crafty things or organise events etc etc and one day we will too! But not today, all we want is a nice relaxing bath or half an hour to catch up on the favourite programme, a trip to the bathroom that doesn’t involve a 1 year old trying to grab everything out the bin and a 2 year old turning the tap on as fast as it goes and getting you all very wet. All of which are massive achievements when you have two under two so aim low and small to start with.
Yay I washed my hair and for one day this week I shall look slightly refreshed with luscious locks instead of something a bird would quite happily set up home in sitting on top of my head. Go me! Seriously savour these small triumphs and leave the lavish expectations until they are older, read a book, start colouring, hell you could even knit if you have time to but if you don’t, so what, we are doing amazing at all the other million things we do, and to our kids, we are hero’s and that’s all that matters.